Bittersweet see you later

this next week is going to be soo bittersweet. ill be leaving people ive seen everday for almost 3 months and ill miss them tons but at least i wont see people who hurt me day after day anymore i dont know why i do this to myself but it always seems to happen the sad thing is he is the closest one to ever having my heart and i cant seem to tell him that. and now he hates me because he thinks i was messing around with his feelings. i cant do this anymore im sick of feeling this way im sick of crying but for you i know ill end up wanting you and needing you in my life.....but i need to figure you out and i cant.....i wish for just once you would say something that would make everything okay.....i just know it will never come...someone i want to rely on and need so much wont do the same for me...its taken me years to say but i love you and i could be yours if you wanted me in a heartbeat