I dont know where to go from here...

i wanted to run, to scream, to say i was angry and not lie. I wasnt sure of my emotional ability at that moment, so i chose to breathe, smile, and hold my head high. honestly that day was a blurr of laughs, pleads, anger, and most of all confusion down to my soul, the day your lies became the truth & everything right took control.

till this day you'll think of what you did wrong, you'll put your heart into a selfish asperation and hold on till you get what you want and then its "so long". so the day the girl you could only dreamed of having decided to do something for her, it was "baby please dont go, listen to me, wait" but honey i concur. For every moment you said what you would do if i cheated, lied, or ran from the truth, there was something you left hidden, something that could leave another so incredibly bruised. But you got me, and my heart is stronger that you ever gave me credit for, i told you not to underestimate my mind, power, and soul, but you just had to test me with all your whores. thanks for the advice, all those times you told me exactly what you would do if i cheated, lied, or was untrue.... in the end they were what made me realize exactly what i deserved and what i should do.

the day you look into my eyes & i trust you again, you'll know.
there will be no doubt in your mind that i do...
until then please don't ask me if i have that trust yet
because it destroys me to have to look into your eyes and tell you the truth

i wanna believe you when you say you have "no doubt"
that you wanna hold me forever & have no other girl around
i wanna know that i trust you, just like i know you're all i'll ever need
but i know that im not worthy of your happiness & that i'm not much to see
i wanna have that "no doubt" feeling, just like you say you do
but how is that going to happen... when i'm trying so hard to convince myself you're speaking the truth.

take me back to crossed fingers, pinky promises, & clicking my heels to take me home
bring me to the days where scouts honor meant no "take backs"
which assured me that i would never have to feel alone.
where a promise was a promise
& they were never broken between friends
take me to the days where forever meant it would never end
let me arrive upon innocent kisses, truths, & seldom lies
where the love of your life only said he loved you when he could cross his heart and hope to die.

i asked him... "what's the first thing you notice about other girls"
he told me... "that they're not you"
(god i want that) (not mine...but its cute)

A girl should have two things: a smile and a guy who inspires it.

I have told every guy in my past not to fall for a girl like me.
because my hearts the best but my mind destroys me.

I ruin everything they will want to have in me.;I warn them so they won't get mad.

now it's time once again
i'm staring at reflections of what i have once done

& every bridge I ever built, every wall i ever pilled, they will burn & tumble because another guy wants to prove me wrong, I guess its time I learned how to swim, so here i go... push me in.


every time that boy stares into my eyes i have to wonder
wonder if he sees the girl i have always been
or the one he has always wanted me to be...
i wonder if he sees me or the girl he wants me to be... more like her.

when he called me up, out of the blue, i knew he thought he was talking to the girl i used to be when i was with him
because when i laughed, i could tell he was smiling - when i mentioned an inside joke, i could hear him sigh - so when i told him he was a mere memory, it wasn't surprising to hear how his voice cracked when he said goodbye.

I'm an easy girl to love, but the hardest girl to keep loving.

isn't it ironic that in life the person that brings out the best in you and the one that makes you strong... is actually your weakness?

Reach for the stars, stand on your tiptoes, and never tell yourself no. You, yes you, can achieve anything. It may take months, it may take years, but when you finally have a firm grasp on a star, the reward is breathtaking.

That's the problem with us, we're too much alike. We're stubborn asses and always want to get our own way. We both hate to be wrong and love to be right. But that's the thing about love, no matter what happens, we always come back for each other one more time.

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had.
Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.

Have you ever wondered about the things we tell ourselves before we fall asleep? We whisper the words in the dark, telling ourselves that we're happy, or that he's happy, that people will change their minds. We persuade ourselves that we can live without the people who have left. Each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves in a desperate hope that come morning, it will all be true.

If I could explain love in one word, it would have to be trust. Trust that he doesn’t cheat on you, trust that he doesn’t lie to you, trust that he really likes you, trust that he will always be there for you, trust that he can go to a party and not get high or drunk, trust that you don’t have to worry about him breaking up with you the second you wake up, trust that he will stick up for you, trust that he will never fall in love with another girl, trust that he won’t just get sick of you, and trust that he wants you like you want him.

I spend 23 hours a day wondering whether we're wrong for each other, wondering whether we've got the energy that we need to get through everything that we seem to get into, whether the baggage we both bring would sink a small ship. But in the 24th hour, I realize I've been thinking about him for 23 hours and I come back to, there's something about him I can't stay away from. Something that makes me want to love him.

You're right. I've never had a bad break up. I've never had my heart broken into a million pieces. I have no right to put up these walls, right? But I have seen my friends cry for months over boys who they gave their hearts to. I've seen boys promise 'forever' only to watch forever end a few months later, when they find someone better to sleep with. I've stayed up countless nights, not by choice, but because my parents were fighting so loud that I couldn't fall asleep. I've been the shoulder to cry on. I've seen the strongest people in the world become weak for love. And I refuse to be that girl. I will never fall in love.

I really enjoy spending time with you, even if we're just going to be sitting around and talking about nothing. There are a million things I love about you, like your nose or the way you smile, the way you look me in the eye too. And I just get the greatest feeling when I make you laugh, I feel as if my company makes you happy, and that's what I wish for you. For you to be happy. And when I see you laugh at my clumsy ways, it just makes me want to spend the rest of my life with you so I can see a smile on your face.

You can be minutes away or in another country, the feelings I have for you won't stop. Even if I haven't seen you in a while, I still have the feeling of your lips against mine. I can still make a visual image of you smiling and being close to me. If only I could sleep through the days till I see you again.