Overthinking....and stuck....

sometimes when things are out of wack, it freaks us
out a little and makes us feel like we`re losing
something that`s really important, and that scares
us even more, so we try really hard to hold onto
whatever it is we think we're losing and sometimes,
we hold on a little too hard.

i don`t care about your past, all i wanna know
is if there is a place for me in your future

Red is the color of life. It's blood, passion, rage. Beginnings and violent end. Red is the color of love. Beating hearts and hungry lips. Roses, Valentines, cherries. Red is the color of shame. Crimson cheeks and spilled blood. Broken hearts, opened veins. A burning desire to return to white.

Are you ready for this? Cause ready or not, here I come. I'm hard to handle, stubborn like you wouldn't believe, I'm obnoxious, I have no confidence, and I'm rude. However, I pinky promise to remain loyal and love you and try my best to change for the better, however I refuse, I refuse, to change myself completely based on what you want, because if that's what you want, well honey you don't want me because I'm most definitely not that. I'm me, accept it, love it and keep it.

Most girls say they want a fairy tale, but that's not what I want. I want someone who will make fun of me and laugh at my jokes even if they're stupid. Someone who will wrestle with me and not let me win because I'm a girl. Yeah, riding off into the sunset would be nice, but playing thumb war with you seems so much better.

I'm scared of the future. I'm scared of growing up and failing at my life. I'm scared of being old and alone. I'm scared I'm never going to find someone who actually loves me.

I’m not going to sit here and say all the things that are wrong with me. Everyone already knows, I’m the biggest fuck up you will ever meet. But I, me, this person, I’m going to actually try to succeed in life, no matter how many people broke my heart, or what person. I’m just going to do what makes me happy, and no one else.

I watch the world turn around me and the people live beside me and it's as if I'm moving too slow or in the wrong direction. I feel like I don't belong or fit in, like I'm watching my life like a movie. I guess you could say I'm not living at all... I just happen to exist, at best.

I don't get why people get so frustrated with me when I bring him up.

It's like, shut up, you should be over him already.

But I'm not. So shut the fuck up.

If you don't want to listen, leave. I listen to you when you complain about your shit.

Sometimes it's my turn, alright?

A lot in my life is shit, but its the little stuff like
meeting a cute boy, or talking to an old friend,
or just sitting at the beach with my best one
that keeps me breathing another day.

He can be so nice, then so mean. He can care and protect, make you laugh, and at the same time play games with your head And after he's done with that, he'll tear your heart out, rip it in to the smallest fragments known to man and leave it on the floor, while all you can do is stand there, not being able to cry because you're so numb, because you thought that there was something there, when really there was nothing but a wayward boy out to break a poor girls fragile heart, all because he didnt know what he wanted