Day 5

Things I want to say to an ex:

hmm well where to begin?

You had everything when you had me. i loved being around you. you were my best friend. i know exactly where we went wrong. it was not ones fault over the other, it was a combination of both of our faults. i still love you and i love what we had. but to be honest i am not sure we can ever have what we had. i felt judged. i feel like i was never the one you truly wanted to be with. yes it is partly because of my insecurities. but you still hurt me. you still judge me. you say youll miss me when i move, but i dont know if i believe you. i miss you and then i think of something you said or did and realize we never made the other better. we fought and cried more then laughing and joking around. we use to be the couple and the relationship i wanted so bad every since i was a young girl. and then we turned into something i never wanted to be a part of. in the end we reminded me so much of my parents and i never want to be in a relationship like my parents. there are still things that bother me; like why could you never do something just because it makes me happy? why were you so selfish? was i that bad of a girlfriend? in the end were you trying to get me to breakup with you so you didnt have to? what bothers me the most is the day you called me fat. i still cry about it. i am very sensitive about my weight. and i probably always will be. You knew the story of my past and used that against me. i never thought you would be the one person who would use my past against me. I hope if you ever read this you dont take this the wrong way. I am grateful for what we had and what we were. I grew up a lot this past year and i know you did too. You are a great guy and will find someone that you will find worthy of doing things for and not just because you feel obligated but because you want that person happy. I still love you and you will always have a piece of my heart but i know that we can never be as close as we once were. Our past is too much a part of me and its all i see or think about when i talk to you. im sorry we ended the way we did but its better this way its better than hating eachother. so to end this i think i should say thank you for what you did and gave me. we were once great but things and people change. thank you for being my best friend for so long. thank you for everything i got to experience with you. i guess in general thank you :) and i know youll succeed and find a wonderful life.